why i wish i was called emma

this is pouring rain

this is paralyzed

all my love was down

in a frozen ground

this is not the sound of a new man

or a crispy realization

its the sound of the unlocking and the lift away

your love will be

safe with me

i am so in love; with you (a collective and singular you), and with this half realization of things. the tenuous, the endearing, enduring frailty. like blinking, trusting that its too bright but youll be that bright too, once acclimated. and when I took a chance on someone unexpected to give out one love unit, I got back two. Now I have two more to give out

its a start and its sometimes all we can do?

(vague, oops. )

something I read for english said it was not in human nature to expose oneself.

id like to create an army of inhumans-- humanitarians who reach inside themselves, slicing into the pulsing breaths, the veils of flaking skin, the moist and supple organs and the coiled scaly tendons and pull out their hearts for everyone to see :)

im in such a weird mood. i got my first C, in a class about what it means to be human

i dont mind being a grade C human if someday I could be something better in the kind that exposes themselves.

THEN MY parents said it was time for bed. and I asked them if me and my husband could not go to bed right now, we could go to the meadow by the golding's house, outside of nina's road and have a picnic. and then jump in that pond even though we werent supposed to. and they no its gross. and I said okay how about the pond down our road, we could ride bikes and they consented. and i asked if we could come home and eat chocolate and wine. and vivacious, utopian fruit. and they nodded. and read lots and lots and lots of books? and go out dancing? and travel? paint and paint and laugh and never stop caring, and never come to a halt?

and they laughed, but i wasnt kidding

ive been listening to too much bon iver