"But for now we are young

Let us lay in the sun

And count every beautiful thing we can see

Love to be

In the arms of all I'm keeping here with me"

IN AN AEROPLANE OVER THE SEA. NEUTRAL MILK HOTEL

(overheard conversation at work)

Hello my name is Liz, what would you like to eat tonight?

I'd like a dfkdklfjslkdfj (i do not remember. unimportant)

And for you sir?

I just want to eat her, but I cant get her to roll that way

....... I do not know what to tell you sir

Everyday I write down on my calendar the things that I do. To my surprise, there is not one inch of blank space on these last two months. Actions run out of the rigid black lines, and days run into days and all of a sudden I'm faced with an end. I am both excited and reluctant

In the past couple days, I have had three profound moments of complete contentment. Usually when I am away from home for too long, I become disconcerted and flustered. But these just brought prolonged stretches of relief. The first was running around in the inky depth of dark beneath the streaking hail of grey, wet, raindrops. And holding onto eachother, because sometimes I have to much to say and no way of saying it, because I am young and inexperienced and naive with words that are so inadequate.

The second was running around the turf in the blazing heat, with "Blood Bank" by Bon Iver replaying in my head over and over, and we matched up stride to stride and that is how it always is. And that I get this sense of permanence from certain people, the ones who know, and I wanted to say that I love you and thank you so much, but for fear of sounding either even mildly romantic or needy, instead I just said that I could see this happening in college- but I really meant that you are a terrific friend who not only do I like you, but I like who I am when I'm around you. And some things I know are immature since I am still so immature, and I know they will stay locked up and bound within highschool years of mistakes and learnings. But there are some people I want there for my entire life, and when I think about growing up or growing old or growing away, I feel like I will inevitably need to find a new foundation. As will they. And I wonder what happens when they've found one and I havent, or vice versa. This is when I think that it would be nice to be self-sufficient. And also very lonely. Is it better to isolate myself before others do it themselves? Is self-induced pain more tolerable than an external source? I do not think so.

The third was driving around in Bryan's car, and Joey summed it up nicely saying he liked "listening to good music and eating Oreos". Tonight, i just breathed. Some people really make me excited about life.

Everyone I take the time to truly look at recently just seem so attractive. I hate sounding corny but to say it simply, I just think everything is so beautiful