"He took a step, but then felt tired
He said, "I'll rest a little while"
But when he tried to walk again
All the people hurried fast, real fast
And no one ever smiled
Blue lips, blue veins, blue
The color of our planet from far far away"
BLUE LIPS. REGINA SPEKTOR
In order to get a long with a group of girls, I've realized the best strategy for me is to be very adaptable. Its not that I am being false, or phony, but there are many sides and shades to me that are all truly genuine. I had come to the conclusion that I was a chameleon, when one girl described my other friend as a chameleon, and was saying it in an annoyed way. I know saying someone is a chameleon isn’t always a positive thing, but I thought about it and I decided I feel like it'd be an okay thing for someone to be. Like, what does it matter the color; the real point is what you are, which so happens for this person to be a chameleon. Some people can’t actually see you when you’re a certain color, but close friends would see and accept all the colors because they recognize you not for the color, but for the being. A chameleon. You can change color all the time because you have the capacity to be many different shades and still be genuine. You can change color all you want but that’s a surface thing, and doesn’t change what you really are. (I'd say "a chameleon" again but I'm getting a bit redundant) And who is only one color all the time anyways? (That thought process made a lot more sense in my own head. But the goal of this blog was working on my communication skills, so maybe I've reached someeeebody. Ideally a fellow chameleon)
Today I went to the beach in the cold wind and sporadic rain. The best way to describe the atmosphere of the beach I feel was grey. But it was a pleasant grey, a friendly enveloping grey, not like the grey of steel or similar opaque, rigid things but the grey of mist, or earl grey tea. (which I know is not actually grey). Because sometimes I like the clarifying pain of being chilled to the bone. And the wild abrupt impulse to rip off my layers and dive into the brisk toss of waves. The reaching tendrils of frothy white was the thickest foam I’ve seen in water before, and I think white is so beautiful in natural settings because the purity takes me by surprise. Our hands turned blue, and Joeys were an impressive rainbow. I just finished reading Perks of Being a Wallflower and the phrase “I feel infinite” cycled through my mind all day. Not because of any particular moment. But an accumulation of things, like running as fast as I could, like a collective urge to walk far far forever, like how vinyl record or book stores make me feel. Like cities and meeting new people and learning and questions and good music make me feel. Like comfortable silences, or good talks, or thinking about the future, or thinking about the past and realizing I’ve come to terms with it. I’ve definitely trailed off subject here, but basically society had made me believe “beach days” are sunny. False. Spontaneity is a brilliant thing.
Today I went to the beach in the cold wind and sporadic rain. The best way to describe the atmosphere of the beach I feel was grey. But it was a pleasant grey, a friendly enveloping grey, not like the grey of steel or similar opaque, rigid things but the grey of mist, or earl grey tea. (which I know is not actually grey). Because sometimes I like the clarifying pain of being chilled to the bone. And the wild abrupt impulse to rip off my layers and dive into the brisk toss of waves. The reaching tendrils of frothy white was the thickest foam I’ve seen in water before, and I think white is so beautiful in natural settings because the purity takes me by surprise. Our hands turned blue, and Joeys were an impressive rainbow. I just finished reading Perks of Being a Wallflower and the phrase “I feel infinite” cycled through my mind all day. Not because of any particular moment. But an accumulation of things, like running as fast as I could, like a collective urge to walk far far forever, like how vinyl record or book stores make me feel. Like cities and meeting new people and learning and questions and good music make me feel. Like comfortable silences, or good talks, or thinking about the future, or thinking about the past and realizing I’ve come to terms with it. I’ve definitely trailed off subject here, but basically society had made me believe “beach days” are sunny. False. Spontaneity is a brilliant thing.
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