If you think you are blue and the rest of the world thinks you are green, which one are you?

Its always so hard for me to say this because I dont like to acknowledge and therefore accept it. I dont like not being okay with things. I have irrational dislikes and annoyances just like everyone does but I really hate settling for them-- if im not okay with something someone does (ie. my mom LOVES to talk about chemistry when I'm busy reading or studying, etc.) then I should get over it myself. I AdJUsT. How can we get angry at other people who are incomplete as well as we are? I feel like getting over myself is becoming more complete personally. So I tend to hide how I feel about things because I know that eventually I'll get over it.. and usually I come to love it. This = more love in my life = good. But recently I havent been able to get over it all the time. This leads to more feelings of discontent and hatred toward things in my life = eats me away inside = holes = not complete = kind of lonely.

dear self, GET OVER YOURSELF. i adsfkjaksdjk;adsd I feel so petty to say this. im sorry

but if youre hurting someone, it must be because you are hurt yourself. If you are hurting me, it must be because I hurt you somehow. I have been trying to be good, be honest, be accepting, be open, I'm trying but i'm inadequate as well. Its so easy to break the cycle --you stop getting hurt and you stop hurting others. You stop hurting others then you stop getting hurt?

I just want to know how you want me need me to change, thats all

I think some people come off as this beacon of cool , like people I look at from afar they are good at things that I want to be good at, they dress how I feel like I want to want to dress like, they make jokes I want to be able to come up with they feel everything and take it in stride, they know who they are they question and still know who they are. They have this glow. Its all the warmth they have, but I D K it just seems like sometimes they keep it to themselves. self-preservation. Absorb it out of others. And thats why we get so close to them, and we crowd around, they look so warm but my fingers are still cold, they generate no heat. THey have all this love bundled up to themselves, it attracts us but only for so far.I got close and felt colder. To be untouchable looks great, looks special, set apart, but it must be horribly lonely. I forget where I was going with this

I just think the easiest way to be happy is to give your warmth away

from personal experience