"An oxymoron. You know two things that contradict themselves. Like jumbo-shrimp. Or military intelligence"

I dont even know. Today was, scintillating. And buoyant. And relative. Cool stupid insane weird are all so relative. Like, so entirely multi-faceted and relative they dont even exist. And we had personal conversations with teachers and acted fine, I was fine today. The world is fine.

People keep me hopeful because always there is this light in them. Like lighted things like flashlights, or streetlights. Or the flash on a camera. They pan light all around them, not just what theyre pointed at. You are like that. The people who I meet who are scared and strangely distant in conversation, the ones who could never multitask by talking and being vulnerable at the same time.. The perversion, the fakeness, either way. Its slightly hollowed out. The ones who put down others and elevate themselves, theyre pointing their own light at themselves, and its like holding the flashlight up to your own eyes. Blinding. Its the challenge of staring into it, but what are you challenging, what are you defying except yourself?

But You are very light.

And things that you care about dont always make you have joy, because caring is so much more than that flimsy, unsure happiness that always makes me shaky. And giggly. And caring is always fufilling, I think. So far.